I can't explain everything that is going through my head right now. I can't explain every aspect of my life to you... or could even being to explain the deep roots that continue to trouble me daily, and will continue to trouble the best of the mind that our civilizatoin could ever offer. Only when the last glowing embers of life cross the earth before the dawning age will anyone begin to understand.
How much of life do I take up? Am I but a breath of air, but a bit of grain, in the whole scheme of things? What do I stop, and what do I continue? Who am I, but the feelings and emotions that I have. And if I lose that part of myself, if I lose my sanity and thus become a walking shell of myself, and I still myself? If I were to die, would the world be changed? Even a little bit?
Tears would fall, blasphamous words would be screamed, a other's faith would faulter. How could God do this to them?
HOW COULD YOU QUESTION THAT?
We.... know nothing. When you think, when you search, we know nothing. Everything is experimental, and everything we do is taking our KNOWLEDGE AWAY. All this technology, is making it so we don't have to DO anything, so we don't have to THINK.
But... what... what THEN!?
I can't contain the thoughts, I can't contain the dread. I don't know what I'm even thinking anymore. I feel... so small. So... insignificant. If my danity were gone, my personality would go with it. IIIIIII would be dead. But then, my body would be here... and I would not be DEAD . So then, when my body is gone, am I more dead than when the had died?
Who can even answer these things?
This, is why we have faith. This is why we believe. It's blind, and it's real.
Do not think Christians are superior, do not think that WE think we are better.
But I didn't write this to preach... I didn't... I don't know.
Why am I here?