Forgiveness I ask, though
it is not deserved
for things I have done and seen.
shameful,
cruel,
evil you say?

Regrets and unfulfilled
promises pocket my
plane like a plague
horrible,
reproachful
damning you say?

My pain, my regret unburdened to you
seeking an indulgence and a
verbal bashing
unforgivable
disgusting
critical you say?

Shock, bewilderment can
it truly be that
you understand
knowledge
forgiveness
the same you say?

Gush my heart out,
your advice of stone
tell it all, know it all
comfortable
caring
it's okay you say?

Misunderstood, no, that's
not the point, what do
you mean it's my religion
anger
hurt
not the same you say?

It's not the same
it's so much worse, the
feeling burns like acid
venomous
calculating
what--you say?

Unresponsive you are
to the pain that I can't control
I wanted help, not acceptance
nerves
compassion
release you say?

Fuck understanding and
fuck this pain. I don't want
this, I want help
torn
hated
how can this be you say?

Committing treason to your
mind and soul will tear you
apart, what more is needed
shock
worry
anger you say?

Fuck these feelings, and
fuck this poem
who needs this damn release
PAiN
ANGUiSH
let is go you say?

I wish I fucking could.