I can't explain everything that is going through my head right now. I can't explain every aspect of my life to you... or could even being to explain the deep roots that continue to trouble me daily, and will continue to trouble the best of the mind that our civilizatoin could ever offer. Only when the last glowing embers of life cross the earth before the dawning age will anyone begin to understand.
How much of life do I take up? Am I but a breath of air, but a bit of grain, in the whole scheme of things? What do I stop, and what do I continue? Who am I, but the feelings and emotions that I have. And if I lose that part of myself, if I lose my sanity and thus become a walking shell of myself, and I still myself? If I were to die, would the world be changed? Even a little bit?
Tears would fall, blasphamous words would be screamed, a other's faith would faulter. How could God do this to them?
HOW COULD YOU QUESTION THAT?
We.... know nothing. When you think, when you search, we know nothing. Everything is experimental, and everything we do is taking our KNOWLEDGE AWAY. All this technology, is making it so we don't have to DO anything, so we don't have to THINK.
But... what... what THEN!?
I can't contain the thoughts, I can't contain the dread. I don't know what I'm even thinking anymore. I feel... so small. So... insignificant. If my danity were gone, my personality would go with it. IIIIIII would be dead. But then, my body would be here... and I would not be DEAD . So then, when my body is gone, am I more dead than when the had died?
Who can even answer these things?
This, is why we have faith. This is why we believe. It's blind, and it's real.
Do not think Christians are superior, do not think that WE think we are better.
But I didn't write this to preach... I didn't... I don't know.
Why am I here?

Crystal clear with breath like rain,
falling from the window pane;
cast the shadows 'round the ground
for we are future bound!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life is strange, if you ever stop to think about it. In the hustle and bustle of it, you don't really get the change to find the meanings in all of the little things. But when it slows down again, when you have time to breath and to think--and most certainly when it's slow you will think--that is when you find that, perhaps to do it wrong?
Maybe you didn't tell that one person how you felt when you had the chance, or you didn't spend enough time with that one friend when you could have, and now the time is coming to a quick end. But maybe some things you did right, and you can smile back on them.
Birthdays can always be happy occasions...and then when you stop and think, they can be sad as well. When you have time to watch and analyize all of your friends in a group enviroment, and you look to see just how well you know them... it can be a real bummer to find out that, perhaps you didn't know them as well as you thought you had. When you find out that, that one friend is a good friend to talk to at school, and a blast to giggle with, but then you realize.... oh--I can't really hang out with you alone.. one x one. It just dones't work. Or when you realize, that one friend that you ALWAYS argue with, is in fact the easiest one to hang out with. You already know all of her flaws, and all of the ones that tick you off. Which means you already know exactly how to twist it so that you can hang out peaceably.
Seventeen.. it's only one year older than Sixteen, why should it feel any different? Maybe it's because my life has jsut been this speeding rollercoaster that's finally come to a stop after slowing down for a few days. I don't know what to do with myself. It's another year older, and I should have a life. There's nothing wrong with me that would keep me from one, cept for my morals that stop me from joining in with the youth of my town. But, I've my friends... and I don't hang out with them.
I'm not sad, and I'm not depressed. I'm not writing this so you'll feel sad... or really for you to think or feel anything. Its... just... strange. I feel vulnerable whenever life slows down like this. It makes my morality all too well known. I could die tomorrow... stepping infront of a bus or crashing on my way to church. I could die, easily. And what would I leave behind? My friends would cry, would wonder why. There'd be a space there. But, what then? Over time it would slowly decrease... and then one day, they won't think of me at all for that whole day. And then, maybe the next time it'll be two days. Sooner or later, they'll vist my grave once a year... and then maybe once every two years. The future is always there...Photography captures the moment, but just as that moment passes, it's the past. You can never capture it again. Mimick it, try and redue it... but it's gone. You won't get it back. The clock is ticking, and I wonder....

What will I want back? What will I want to do over? What will I leave behind?

:. Hah, I wish!! .:


italics = sketched.
underline = working on it.
bold = finished.

1.) Make 100 pics each pic having a theme listed below. Each pic should have ONE and only ONE theme to it, for it to count.
2.) No time limit so have fun
3.) The main picture should be drawn but not limited to. for all fair purposes, people are allowed to use their paint programs and photo shop to create the pic.
3a.) Pics should be of own artistic ability. You may not edit photos, or break any other rules set out in the DA etiquette policy. Your pics can be anything from sketches and doodles to great master pieces. Just have fun with it.
4.) The list below is to be placed somewhere in your journal for others to see that......
4a.) You are in the challenge
4b.) What you have completed
5.) make sure to update this list and check off what is done and make a link to the pic.
6.) In the comments for your art work note if it is part of the list and what ONE theme it is.



THE LIST:
1. Introduction <[link]
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67% (question, whys it at question seventy?)
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

1 . YOUR REAL NAME: =3 Lov*** Roeder

2 . YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Lov-izzle


3 . YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Purple Kitten


4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Roelo
Hahah, how would you even pronounce that?


5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink}
Pastel Green Pepsi
Haha, LAME!

6. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)
Oedisader
Sounds like the name of a mental disorder =3


7.YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (both parents middle name)
Rochelle Leroy


8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Bella

Another year gone,
another year come.
The good the bad the horrible the great.

Wow. Have you ever looked back at the year that you just finished? And relived all the memories that seem like ancient history? And the ones that seem as fresh as newly fallen snow, though sometimes the fresh ones are not pure?
It's hard to really think abotu the whole... bigger picture. We think about individual events, about the things that make us laugh and the things that make us cry, or cringe in pain or regret...but really, the whole picture? Another /year/. It's a long time... and so many things change.
I saw a friend of mine make a photo album for the year of 2007. She put random pictures of her and her friends, and captioned them "January 2007 : 'momento goes here'" And so on down the list until, whoa, December. It was a great idea, and I'm thinking I might start that up this year. Except... put a little more personal flare in it for me. Something with writing... some short stories? A little poetry? Something. I'm not sure yet, but it's a fun idea to toss around.
The good the bad the ugle and the beautiful. What does it all mean really? This new start? We don't forget the old, but we move on to the new... really, could it be called hope? I know I'm hoping this year will be better?

~~~

So, the good the bad the ugly and the beautoful of 2007? I'm not sure if I'll even remember it all.
January, I got back together with a boyfriend of mine that I'd broken up with in Septemeber of 2006. We lasted six months.
February...not really exciting. I was relishing the idea of not spending valentines alone.
March, turning sixteen and having a blast with all of my many gal pals. Partying it up, playing dance dance revolution, eating cake and just hanging out.
April...my first prom. Hehe, and what a night. The dance was fun, after prom was even funnier. Had my first kiss with my boyfriend, after two months. =3 I move slow.
May...schools end. Summer beginning.
June..my cousin getting married, me being candle barrer. Camp again, seeing old friends that I hadn't seen for a year. A /year/. It's long time.
July..things getting rocky, relathionship unsteady
August, school starting. Excitment, regret. My boyfriend going away to college. Even more unsteady.
September, the state fair. The fun of the beginning of the month. The crushing blow as I'd finally had enough. A rough break of six months.
October, seeing old friends...living again. Spending halloween with a dear friend.
November, being thankful for all that I have had, all the I have given up, all that I will be given. Knowing it was for the best, and finally starting to realize it too.
December, spending more time with a new guy, meeting and learning and talking...and, dating.

It's rough, but it's a year. Look, in words, It's not so huge. It's small, but the feelings that are shared with each word, with each phrase. That's what makes the year, so great, so bad. The emotions, the sights the feelings. Pain, and Happiness. It's all in there. But, the year is over. And a new one is beginning.
Have you made a new years resolution? Made a few wishes to yourself as you've done in years past? I'm startin gnew. Strating fresh. As for resolutions? I have none. I'm free.